Nightmares (Or How Abby Started Sleeping in the Middle)
by KataHime
Summary: Some demons are harder to fight than others. OT3 GJA


**Nightmares (Or How Abby Started Sleeping in the Middle)**

**Summary: Some demons are harder to fight than others.  
A/N: So I've been working on this for a few days; each episode is in bold. Just a quick one-shot. Established-OT3**

**Requiem:**

_The words wash over her in waves, and she took them in one at a time. Tony said he'd tried, had dove back into the water for him. It wasn't good enough. Maddie was alive, breathing. She was alive. But…but Gibbs wasn't. It made her sick to think about it, the very thought that he was gone. It didn't make sense._

_He couldn't be dead. No, no, it wasn't real. This wasn't real, none of it… any of it, damn it. Any second he'd breeze into the bullpen and start barking orders. Right? _Right_?! She waited by the elevator, waited and waited. She was starting to feel cold, felt it in her soul.  
She needed to get out of here, her feet moving with no destination in mind. She wanted her lab. She wanted him. How could Tony let this happen? He was supposed to have his 6 at all times. And, okay, yeah, so he went off without telling anyone but he was the boss. He was allowed. And Tony still figured it out, still found him and Maddie. Gibbs couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. He couldn't be… _

* * *

She wakes with tears streaming down her cheeks, her coffin restricting her movements. She's out of it within minutes, fumbling for her phone on the countertop. He answers within a couple rings.

"Abby, baby, it's 3 am." Tears slipped down her cheeks as he speaks, and she can't suppress her sobs, even as she tries to breathe through them; she hears the change in his tone, "Abbs? What happened? What's wrong?"

"Bad dream," she manages once she gets her breathing under control, stops her free hand from trembling, "Didn't mean to wake you."

"Do you want me to come get you?"

_Yes, please_. "No, no. I'm ok," she sniffed, "Just needed to hear your voice." Today had been horrible, and she'd almost lost him, she'd almost missed her chance to...

"Alright, honey. I'm gonna stay on until you fall back asleep."

"Thank you."

"I love you, Abbs."

She smiles softly, even though he can't see her, "I love you too."

****

**Judgment Day:**

_She doesn't understand the words coming out of Ducky's mouth, saying she'd died. She was just going to a funeral, would be back tomorrow. She'd had a bad feeling ever since she'd left but this? It didn't make sense. How did she go from a funeral one minute to a diner in the middle of nowhere the next? It didn't make sense. None of it.  
No, she wasn't dead. She _wasn't_. She said she'd be home soon. She was supposed to come home…she was supposed to…she couldn't be…  
The room felt like it was spinning. She couldn't be here. It felt like she was suffocating, her breaths coming out shallow, quick. She needed her lab, to do something, anything useful. How could Tony and Ziva even let this happen? They were her protective detail, damn it! They were supposed to keep her safe, to be with her at all times!_

_How could this be real? How could Jen be dead? How could any of this be real… _

* * *

She wakes up in the middle of a panic attack; choked sobs wracked her body, and she couldn't catch her breath. She's grabbing for her phone, hitting the number for Jen's speed dial before she even thinks of the time.

"Abbs, sweetheart, I'd just gotten to sleep," Jen's voice holds nothing but exhaustion, and she feels her breath come back to her all at once; she's hacking before she could stop herself, tears pouring down her face. Jen's alarmed voice cuts through her thoughts, "-bby! _Abby_!"

"I'm here," she wheezes out, struggles still to get her bearings.

"What's wrong? I can be there in -"

"No," she manages, her voice rough, raspy, choked with emotions she's afraid to voice, "No, just a bad dream. I'm okay. I just needed to hear your voice." God, but she wanted her here with her, to reassure herself that she was really okay.

"You don't sound okay," Jen waits a beat and then, "Are you sure you don't want me to come over? Because I can."

She nods, despite knowing Jen can see her, "I'm okay, really," she wipes at her eyes, "I promise it's fine."

"I'll stay on the line until you go back to sleep."

"Okay," She waited a beat, "Jenny?"

"Hm?" Jen's voice was low, sleepy and she felt a pang of guilt for waking her at all.

"I love you."

She can hear the smile in Jen's voice, "I love you too, Abby."

**Bloodbath:**

_The bullet hole is the same caliber as the gun Metro had found in Mikel's car. Abby lays on the autopsy table, naked under the sheet, her eyes closed. Forever. He'd only felt like this once before, the day he found out about Shannon and Kelly. He remembers the feeling of complete emptiness that settled over him the moment he was told of Shannon and Kelly's deaths. The numbness, the sickness, the grief and guilt. The rage and heartbreak. He'd felt paralyzed, unable to move, too overcome with emotions. He'd never felt such a thing before._

_Except right now, he was feeling everything again, ten-fold. His entire world was imploded and there was nothing he could do about it besides accept it. And he _couldn't_ do that. He couldn't do that because Abby wasn't allowed to die. He was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to… _

* * *

He lashes out blindly, still half-asleep. His heart is beating rapidly, his eyes trying and failing to adjust to the darkness. Jen startles awake, confused for a moment, but she was used to his nightmares. She sits up slowly, speaks calmly, softly, trying to get him to breathe. _In, out, in out_.

"Abby," Still partly asleep, his voice is laced with something he doesn't want to identify, even now. But he needs her, he _needs _to see her.

Jen shushes him gently, reassuringly, before she grapples for the bedside lamp on the opposite side of him. The room is bathed in a soft orange glow. She moves to the other side of their slumbering lover, Abby blissfully unaware in her exhausted state. He watches her chest rise and fall, visibly calming down. Still, he reaches out for her, stroking her cheek gently. She mumbles in her sleep, curling into his arms on instinct, and he doesn't stop himself from holding her tighter.

Jen watches the display with a soft smile, leaning down to kiss them both softly before shutting the light off again. He lets Abby's steady breathing lull him back to sleep.

**Frame Up:**

_Time stands still. In the lab, Chip stands over Abby, the Goth unmoving on the ground. The knife is still in his hand, dripping blood. The knife wounds are deep, and the blood continues to drip onto the cold floor. All she sees is Abby, like she's trapped in a box with no one but the Goth, no sound, just an empty void save for the two of them. And she waits for Abby to move, to make a sound, anything, but there was a part of her that knew she was too still, too quiet. A part of her that knew Abby was gone. The other part of her, the part that refused to believe it, stayed quiet._

_She's felt Death's shadow before, looming over her father. But this, this was different. Because Death should've come for her before anyone else, especially Abby. Abby was the innocent one._

_It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real. Abby wasn't dead. That was just insane. Abby wasn't allowed to die before her, damn it! She wasn't allowed to…_

* * *

She startles awake, nearly falling from the bed, hovering on the edge. It's instinct that he reaches out for her, startled awake by her thrashing, but, while grateful, she nearly pushes herself from his arms. Abby is on the other side of him, still asleep, and he moves off the bed so that she can pull Abby closer. She shares a quick look with Jethro as he settles back on the bed, terror and adrenaline still coursing through her body, but he knew, he always knew. It's early, and she knows their alarm clock is due to go off soon, but she couldn't shake the fear that still clung to her, like a noose around her neck.

Abby hums softly in her sleep, relaxed against her, and she feels her heartbeat start to slow to a normal pace. She lays there for awhile, on the edge of consciousness, before allowing sleep to claim her again.

****

**Driven:**

She doesn't make it home until nearly midnight, the case keeping her in her lab for far longer than she liked, and while she would've rather just stayed at her lab for the night, her lovers' insistence that she come home was enough of a reason for her to change her plans. They're already asleep when she makes it into the bedroom, and she stops in the doorway to observe, something she hardly did.

She knew they liked to sleep touching. It went back to Paris and Serbia and missions of prolonged physical touching. She understood that when they entered into a relationship together. So to have them on each end of the bed, with the middle open up for her, well that was new. Maybe they'd had a fight without her knowing? No, they would've said something; hell, even unconscious, they would've fallen together at some point. Besides, she would've heard through the grapevine.

Regardless, she was tired, and she would think about it tomorrow. She sighed as she fell in-between them, careful not to jostle them too much as she got comfortable. Even asleep, they would seek her out, and she smiled as they cuddled closer to her. It was cute but as she fell asleep, she wondered if there was an ulterior motive.

* * *

By the third night of sleeping in the middle, she's used to it, even if she wasn't sure why the sleeping arrangement had changed. Usually, it wouldn't have mattered who slept where, as long as they were all together. She could remember some mornings waking up in the middle when she'd fallen asleep on one end of the bed or the other; and while she knew her lovers would eventually tell her, she liked the mystery of it all.

She's jostled from sleep suddenly, and she blinks herself awake, feeling tears stinging her eyes. _I never cry Kate. Never, ever_. But she's being woken from whatever nightmare she was having, crying. That wasn't like her; hell, even nightmares weren't like her. But then, she supposed, everyone had nightmares at some point. There's nothing she can do to stop the tears, and a part of her didn't want to. Gibbs and Jen are already awake, having realized what was going on, pulling her from whatever her mind had conjured up.

She listens to them, if only to allow them to keep talking, half-afraid that they'd pull away quicker; despite the fleeting thought, she knew they wouldn't until she was ready. This nightmare she doesn't remember; it was dark and bleak, cold. But unlike her nightmares after Gibbs and Jen's _adventures_, they were here to comfort her after this one. Which worked better, much, much better.

"You okay?" his voice is low, quiet in the dark.

She nods as she settles back on the bed between them, sighing softly, "Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No," She says it in a whisper, but she can hear the doubt in her voice. She continues before they can interrupt, "I don't remember it. Just how I felt."

"Mmm," Jen's hand is cool against her face, her other hand moving to run her fingers through her hair, "and how did you feel?"

_Trapped. Alone. Scared. Suffocating. _

Finally, she settles on, "Cold."

As they sit there, pieces started to come back, fragments of the nightmare mixed with memories. Trapped by the killer AI, banging on the windows, McGee right there but unable to hear her. The car filling with carbon monoxide as she desperately tried to reach the kill switch. Being pinned back against the seat. And then it's changing, and McGee isn't there and why isn't the elevator opening? And she's trapped in the car as it's filling with carbon monoxide and no one is coming for her.

She doesn't realize she's shaking until Gibbs speaks, "It's okay, Abbs."

It didn't feel okay. _A few minutes more I would've been singing hymns with my angels right now_.

She could've died. They all knew that. It wasn't something they liked to talk about, or mortality in general. And maybe right now, she just wanted to forget. Life, death. None of that mattered. Because she was here, with them, and they were safe, she was safe. And when she kisses them, Jen first and then Gibbs because she liked to be unpredictable, she pours her emotions into it. And if they knew she was deflecting (though she knew they did), refusing to talk about her nightmare, they didn't say anything, just let her choose her way to forget.

A while later, as she started to fall asleep again, she snuggled between Gibbs and Jen, smiling contently. She didn't know what caused their non-existent sleeping positions to change, but she couldn't deny how much she enjoyed being in the middle. Both of her lovers were on either side of her; she felt completely safe, like it was where she was meant to be, and maybe it was. It just took a few nightmares to figure it out.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


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